As I write this, it’s been a year since the last time I saw my brother David, and I’m on a flight to Australia - paid for with the last of the money he had left to go travelling before he died (I can imagine him fuming that I’ve been given his money!).

I knew I’d be emotional today, traveling over 24 hours on my own, on the same day my brother passed. But I didn’t realise quite how much leaving my parents at the airport would affect me. As I sat here alone, thinking, it suddenly occurred to me that this is the first time I’ve flown solo since the day I left David and parents in Brazil, unaware I’d never see him again.

It would be easy to say that 2018 was the worst year of my life, and it probably was. But that doesn’t mean good things didn’t happen. 

But if David’s untimely death has taught me anything, it’s that life is so unbelievably short and you can’t dwell on the shit. You have to get on with your life and be as strong as you possibly can. 

1. I started my dream job and I know David was so proud of me for actually sticking to what I knew I could do and achieving it.
2. I’m closer with my parents than ever and have managed to move home without mum or me killing each other. David would be absolutely gobsmacked.
3. David’s friends have become my friends (sorry David!) And I can talk to them whenever I’m feeling down and they’ll completely understand where I’m coming from.
4. I’m more confident and stronger than I’ve ever been because of David. I feel like if I can get through this, I can get through anything.  
5. I’ve met a boyfriend who I know David would get on with so well. He makes me really happy and he’s actually met the parents and seems to actually like me, which is pretty good. Yes, David’s death has made me extremely cautious about thinking of a future but, like I said, I’m happy at the moment and isn’t that all that matters? (Aaaaand he’s going to read this which is just so weird for me) 

My dad sent me a text earlier saying  “Have a great time and live life to the full - that's what David  would want xx”, and he’s 100% right. That’s how I’m going to live my life forever, and what better way to mark the year than spending 2 weeks with my best friends who I haven’t seen for months in Australia?